Stories From the Street: Broken Leg

It was a drunk looking for a fight that led to the broken leg. Jeff and another officer (plus the other officer's brother who was there for a ride-along) were taking this guy down and in the melee somebody accidentally came down on Jeff's leg. It could have been anybody, but we blame the drunk.
He broke the fibula, and really it's the best break he could have - as far as leg breaks go. It's a "load bearing break" meaning he didn't need a cast and could ditch the crutches as soon as he felt OK to.
It's been a month and he's been off the crutches since the first week. He returned to work pretty much right away on limited duty - working in the station. He actually loves that he's not out on the street in the cold. He's doing really well but we're all anxious for, as Capri put it the other night, "Everything to go back to normal. No more sick people and Daddy's leg not being broken".

Stories From the Street: X-Man

A little while back, Jeff had a "sit on" call at the hospital. This is where an officer stays at the hospital with someone who is under arrest but has to been seen medically before they are taken to the station. There is a special locked room in the ER for persons under arrest and also those with mental issues. Jeff was waiting around when a woman in the "mental" category, specifically the "mental prostitute" category called out to him.

Mental Prostitute: Hey Wolverine!

Jeff: nothing

Mental Prostitute: Wolverine!

Jeff: You talkin' to me?

Mental Prostitue: Yeah.

Jeff: Cool!

Later the same woman called out to another officer.

Mental Prostitute: Hey Cocoa Puffs!



When Jeff told me this story after he got home, he said:

Jeff: I got the GOOD name.

Me: Yeah you did! Why'd she call the other officer "Cocoa Puffs"?

Jeff: I don't know, but the thing is, he kind of did look like Cocoa Puffs!

Stories From the Street: Were you in a movie?

Jeff has been told he looks like a LOT of people. If you missed the post with his list of "credits" check it out here.

Last night he arrested 4 Mexican gang members on request of the Gang Unit. He loaded them into the wagon (where most arrested individuals go to get carted off to detention, unless they are particularly clean and not unruly and then they can ride in a regular police car) and then proceeded to check their cuffs. All KCPD officers have their own cuffs, which belong to them, and that they want to get back. Anyway, there was a cuff mix-up and so Jeff was trying to figure out who's were who's.

One of the gang members looked at Jeff and said, "Hey were you in a movie?"

Jeff just smiled and went on checking.

"Because" the gang member went on, "you look like you could be a Hollywood cop. You look like you could be Dan Akroyd's partner".

His gang buddies agreed.

We're not totally sure why Dan Akroyd is the Hollywood cop of choice to Kansas City Mexican gang members. Is Dragnet a popular flick in their circle? Do they threaten rival gangs with the saying, "Just the facts!"?

I suppose we'll never know.

Seeing as we have no immediate intention to join a Mexican gang.

Answered Prayer

Jeff is NOT going to be laid off.
Glory Hallelujah!

But. . .

There's a hiring freeze in the KCPD. The current academy class is being laid off, unless given a federal grant. Officers are going to be pulled of the street in order to staff detention units where the civilian officers have been pulled from because they can't pay their overtime. 911 response times are going to get longer. . .and. . .longer. . .and. . .longer.
One average the department loses 1 officer a week to normal turnover. More will be retiring next month. With the hiring freeze this means MORE work for our boys in blue, and less speedy service for us all. Read Chief Corwin's blog post for all the details.

Yes, it's a recession. Yes, there are cuts everywhere. But isn't a basic public services like the Police something we SHOULDN'T be cutting? Instead of keeping our city safe in a time when people are growing more and more desperate, the city council slashed budgets in the place we need the most. The KC Mayor was the only one unwilling to cut the Police budget. He was ignored and it was cut 15 million dollars.

KC residents, what can you do? Call or e-mail city council members and let them know you don't approve. Let them know this is unacceptable. Let them know you CARE about this happening to our city.

Stories From The Street: Aren't You That Officer?

Last night Jeff gets a call from the dispatcher with a report of a large amount of brush and debris in the middle of a street. He drives to the location, a street across town from the paddlefish site. Once he gets there, a woman who lives there asks him if he'd like to use her PITCHFORK to clear the debris.

"Sure" he says.

So he starts pitchforking.

As he's going along, another woman drives by and then slows. She pokes her head out her car window and yells, "HEY, aren't you that officer who was moving the big fish the other night?!"

This is where Jeff would like to stress, the fish street was across town and there were maybe 2 cars that passed by while he was moving them.

At this point you may be thinking,

"Where is Public Works?"

"Why is Jeff now the go to guy for getting stuff out of the street?"

"What were those fish doing there the other day anyway?"

Those are really good questions.

No. I don't have any answers.

Stories From the Street: Fish

Last night Jeff got a call wherein the dispatcher told him there was a large Swordfish in the middle of a street.

"What??" was his response.

On arriving at the named street he found this:

A Paddlefish.

Nearly 4 FEET LONG and 40 - 50 lbs., Jeff put on his gloves and hauled it out of the middle of the street over to the curb.

While lugging the beast, a driver stopped to tell Jeff there was ANOTHER fish on a nearby street.

No, he has absolutely no idea how they got there.

Just your friendly KC cop keeping the streets safe . . . from one of the largest freshwater fish in North America.

***NOTE***

I have just been informed, by Jeff himself, that there were actually TWO paddlefish at the first location and then a third on a street a couple blocks away.

The Truth About Cops and Robbers (In KCMO)

1. No, I do not know or get together with other cop wives.

2. Jeff's sargeant does not yell or berate his officers. In fact he's a really nice, mellow guy who gave them all $20 movie theater gift certificates for Christmas.

3. The cops who give speeding tickets are part of the traffic division. Therefore, not every (in fact MOST) cops you meet will not be hiding on the street somewhere to give you a ticket. Jeff has vowed to NEVER be in the traffic division.

4. Most of the calls that Jeff goes on have something to do with alcohol. He is constantly saying how if they would ban alcohol then most crime would be prevented. Don't believe him? I'm sure he'd be happy to sign you up for a ride along so you can experience the drunken and disorderly state of most criminal activity yourself!

5. Jeff does not get to drive his Police car home. Apparently in Kansas they can, I'm not sure if it's all of them or just Sargeants. But here in KCMO - are you kidding? They barely have enough cars for the officers on duty.

6. There are a bunch of places that feed cops for free in Kansas City. This was hard for Jeff to take advantage of at first, for some reason he felt bad about it. But after a while, and some pushing from me, he now takes full advantage of the freebies.

7. Heard about the thin blue line? It's totally real, these guys are keeping the nasties on the street at bay so they don't show up on your doorstep.

Smile at a cop today!

Start me a Mast Me Hearty!

Jeff has been "on the job" for three weeks now as a KCPD Police Officer. This has, to put it lightly, been an interesting three weeks. Really he should be writing this blog, but seeing as how Jeff likes to "craft" whatever he writes, it could take him upwards of 4 1/2 hours just to "craft" the title. So I've decided to take the helm and share with you that which is, the life of a KCPD Cop.

When Jeff leaves our house at 8:15pm the nights when he is on duty, he leaves wearing:

1. Shirt
2. Pants

These items are important because if he was not wearing them he would promptly be arrested by his fellow officers for indecent exposure.

3. Bullet proof vest

He wore this every day, no matter what they were doing, at the Academy. They told the recruits that this was to get them used to wearing it to the point where NOT having it on would feel weird. I asked Jeff the other day if this was now the case, did he feel weird without his vest? His answer, "No". Okey-dokey then.

4. Very large, high topped, black, butt kicking boots

The reason for these should be pretty obvious. To kick some butt.

5. Inner belt - for his pants.
6. Outer belt, holding: gun, extra clip, handcuffs, mace, radio, transmitter, club, flashlight, keys.

When Jeff gets to work he puts on a stun-gun that attaches to his leg. He also wears a mic on his shirt that records everything he says. Pretty much he is like a walking, talking (while being recorded) lawsuit just waiting to happen.

7. Coat
8. Two gigantic duffel bags containing. . . I had NO idea. These are LARGE, heavy duffels and I seriously didn't know what is in them until I wrote this post.
I looked in the duffels to try and share with you, the reader, what is in them. That didn't help. So I went and asked Jeff who was sleeping because he is on duty tonight. The conversation went like this:

Aby (whispering): Jeff?
Jeff (sleepily squinting): What?
Aby: What is in your duffel bags?
Jeff: Huh?
Aby: Your police duffels? The littler one? What's in it?
Jeff: Hazmat stuff.
Aby: And the other one, is it riot gear?
Jeff: Yes.
Aby: And. . .
Jeff: Everything else.

So there you go.
This is what Jeff looks like when he leaves at night.

He then picks up those two heavy duffels and gracefully leaves. Actually he bumps and thumps his way out the door, and then bumps and thumps his way through the storm door.
He gets in our van, and drives away. After this it gets a bit hard for me to write what he does. Seeing as I am still at home with the kids and not actually watching him on duty. But he tells me that everything goes well and that it's A LOT of paperwork. Just like you hear, it actually IS a lot of paperwork to be a cop. Or any kind of emergency city worker I'd imagine.

So far Jeff has had a couple of arrests (all DUI's), gone Code 1 a bunch of times (meaning turning the sirens on), and has pulled his gun a couple of times. He's already seen some car accidents (ALL involving alcohol), taken a rape report, issued a warrant, etc, etc, etc. Basically crime, accidents, emergencies don't ever stop. Especially if you're a rookie cop during what they call the "break-in" period. That's the first couple of months where you ride around with a trainer but are responsible for everything. The dispatcher gives those on break-in the most report ridden calls so that they can have the experience. During break-in you try, as Jeff said "To make the dispatcher your best friend" so that you don't get so many of those types of calls right before it's time to go home.

7:00am rolls around and it's time for Jeff to leave and come home. Except he pretty much NEVER gets to leave at 7:00. Eventually he does get to leave and he drives home, makes some "dinner" and then crashes into bed in. . . the basement. That's right, we make our cops sleep in the basement here in KC! No, it's alright, he actually chose to do so after his first night on duty trying to sleep upstairs with all of us awake and the kids being their noisy, stomping, yelling, laughing, running, fitty, jumping on the beds, gotta love 'em selves.

Around 3:00 or 4:00pm Jeff emerges from the basement, we see him for a couple of hours and then before we know it he's back in his uniform and thumping out the door again.

We love our KC Police Officer, and we miss him tons when he's on duty. But there is no way Rome and Capri could be more proud of their dad. They LOVE that Jeff is a cop and tell everybody who will listen that their daddy is a Policeman. Capri especially loves to tell other kids, she does so in a "my dad is cooler than your dad" kind of tone.

The KCPD, along with other cities departments I'm sure, uses a TON of slangy, codey type of talk. Our favorite to make fun of is "Start me a Mast". Any guesses on what this means?