When she grows.
It's too hard.
I'm really HONESTLY not dealing with this well. I never have.
Tonight at dinner Capri buoyantly said there are only six days left of school (Headstart). I nearly lost it, tear wise.
Not because I don't want Capri and Rome around.
But because it means only six more days of just me and my baby Sable in the morning. Only six more days of lunch together, outings, waiting for the bus and her EXTREME joy when it comes.
I struggle with this kind of change. Kid change, kid growth, it's physically painful for me.
I know it seems stupid. You're saying, all the stages and ages are fun.
Or what Jeff said tonight, "At least you got it for a short while. That's better than not at all."
I know it.
I just miss them so much as they grow. Because the little thing that was before you, is gone. It's changed. It's for the good. It's for THEIR good. But it kills ME. I just can't let go very easily of their "now-hood".
I WANT them to be independent. I try hard to teach them so. I don't want them to NEED me.
The thing is, I need them.
I'm going to miss every minute of this when it's over. Even the fit that erupted just minutes after this last picture was taken. Yep, I'll miss that too.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
I'm Just Gonna Miss Her
Posted by Aby Runyan at 8:40 PM
Labels: Me, Outings, Pickle Jar Moments, Sable, The Littles
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4 luvs:
I think you are my new inspiration of "enjoying every minute of it" when the children are young. You REALLY do this well. So well in fact that it causes pain. I think that's healthy though and may be intensified by other things going on in life right now... My question is-What plans have you made for the three kids together this summer? I can't wait to hear about all of those adventures. After all, instead of one, you'll have three!
I haven't forgotten about the stroller question, I just haven't been out to look at the stroller since. I have been blessed with a case of strep! Yippy. So other than e-mails and blog comments, most time is spent in bed. Jason has taken time off to take care of the kids so I can get better!
I really don't want to be a "downer" but, speaking from experience, it does become easier when they become teenagers. I refer you to the old comment, "God made teenagers to make it easier for the parents to see them leave home." Honestly, I loved you kids as teens, for the most part, but it actually does become easier to see kids move from one stage to another as they get older. If for no other reason than that you are hopeful that the next stage will involve some maturity of mind. In the meantime, enjoy their innocence and give plenty of kisses.
I know exactly what you mean. Chloe is getting so big, so fast and I already miss that newborn stage of non-stop cuddles. She only likes to be cuddled now when she's super tired but at the beginning there all she did was cuddle on my chest. Best thing ever. Now's she's laughing and moving all over and I love it but I miss the tiny baby stage. Sounds like it is time for you to pop out another :)
this post made me teary-eyed, as do most of your pickle jar/slice of life moments. i can totally understand and agree completely. i am sad to say though most of the time i am too tired and everything becomes a blur between naps. when my sweet baby wakes me up after my head barely hits the pillow after working all night, i try and remind myself this is a moment i should cherish.
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